Spanish Phrases for Cigar Smokers – Frases en español para los fumadores de puros
I’m headed to Cuba in a few days, and I’m trying to brush up on my Spanish. Usually I get an international data plan, and I’m able to use google translate, xe currency, google maps, etc., on my phone (which I really can’t recommend highly enough if you want to get off hotel property and really see a country). Americans can’t really get an international plan or local sim card in Cuba, so I’ll be traveling sans interwebs. I googled, “Spanish phrases for cigar smokers” but couldn’t find a good resource. So despite the fact that I don’t speak Spanish and am therefore unqualified, I’ll do my best to provide a comprehensive phrase sheet for tourists seeking cigars. Lets start with the most useful phrase:
Do you speak english?
¿Hablas Inglés?
If that doesn’t work, keep reading. Lets go in chronological order, so we’ll start with finding a cigar retailer. Let me point out that I use puros and cigarros. In my experience, one term may work when the other does not, depending on the country, person, etc. If you try both, you’ll likely succeed.
Where can I buy cigars?
¿Dónde puedo comprar puros?
Excuse me, where is a cigar shop?
Perdone, ¿dónde está una tienda de cigarros?
Where is a cigar bar?
¿Dónde hay un bar de cigarros?
Do you know its name? (you can type it into google maps, or better ask the next person)
¿Sabes su nombre?
This way? (one would point while saying this)
Esta manera?
How many blocks?
Cuántas cuadras?
Can you show me on this map?
¿Me puede mostrar en este mapa?
Can you show me on my phone?
¿Puedes mostrarme en mi teléfono?
Now that we’ve found the shop, lets pick out some sticks. You’ll notice that I did not include any phrases about authenticity. If you have to ask, they’re fake. If you ask, they’ll say they’re real. Most cigars sold in touristy areas probably are fake. I’d get on google and do a little research before your trip if you don’t already know how to spot fakes, and how to find authorized retailers. This advice mostly pertains to Cuban cigars, but I’ve heard that fakes of NCs are becoming more prevalent. State run stores, high end hotels, Duty Free, and retailers affiliated with Habanos SA are your best bet.
Hello, I’m looking for some cigars.
Hola, estoy buscando para algunos puros.
May I enter the humidor?
¿Puedo entrar en el humidor?
I’m just looking, thank you.
Sólo estoy mirando, gracias.
I prefer mild cigars
Yo prefiero puros suaves
I prefer medium strength cigars
Yo prefiero puros de fuerza media
I prefer strong cigars
Prefiero puros fuertes
What do you recommend?
¿Qué recomienda usted?
Is there a larger size?
¿Existe un tamaño más grande? (más grande?)
Is there a smaller size?
¿Existe un tamaño más pequeño? (más pequeño?)
Can I see more sizes?
¿Puedo ver más de las tallas? (más tamaños?)
Do you have the brand, Montecristo?
¿Tiene la marca, Montecristo?
Can I buy a box?
¿Puedo comprar una caja?
Can I buy a single cigar?
¿Puedo comprar un cigarro?
Do you have packs of three? Five?
¿Tiene paquetes de tres? ¿Cinco?
Do you have vintage cigars with more age?
¿Tiene puros de la vendimia con más edad?
What year is this from?
¿De qué año es esto?
May I see the box code?
¿Puedo ver el código de la caja?
Do you have limited edition cigars?
¿Se ha limitado puros edición?
After selecting our cigars, we’ll need to check out.
How much for this?
¿Cuánto cuesta esto?
Do you take credit card?
¿Toma la tarjeta de crédito?
Do you sell cigar cutters or punches?
¿Venden cortapuros o punzones?
Do you have matches?
¿Tienes cerillas?
Do you sell lighters?
¿Venden encendedores?
Can I have the receipt?
¿Puedo tener la cuenta?
Thank you very much
Muchas gracias
Smoke em if you’ve got em.
May I smoke?
¿Se puede fumar?
May I smoke here?
¿Se puede fumar aquí?
Is cigar smoking permitted?
¿Se permite fumar cigarros?
Do you have a light?
¿Tienes fuego?
Do you serve drinks?
¿Sirven las bebidas?
May I have an ashtray?
¿Puedo tener un cenicero?
Perhaps we’d like to return.
What are your hours?
¿Cuáles son sus horas?
Are you open tomorrow?
¿Está abierto mañana?
Are you open Sunday?
¿Está abierto el domingo?
What is your phone number?
¿Cuál es su número de teléfono?
I hope this helps you out. Again, I’m not a Spanish speaker, just a traveler who likes cigars. Most stores that deal with tourists will have someone who can speak some English, and even if not, you usually only need broken Spanglish to get your point across. I’m sure my translations contain some mistakes, but just use it as a guide, and good luck. I hope it helps y’all out.
Thank you for bearing with me
Gracias por su paciencia conmigo
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DIY Freddy’s BBQ from House of Cards, Smoking using the WSM is EASY, Sunderland AFC, Virginia Gentleman vs Maker’s Mark
All I had on the agenda this Sunday was smoking some ribs. I woke up this morning to Sunderland v Cardiff on the DVR. This is the last game I’m able to watch this season, as I’ll be in Cuba with no internet access for the remaining three games. Sunderland is still at risk of relegation, but currently outside the relegation zone. If I was going to be in town, I would not miss a single second.
I bought my dad a smoker for xmas, and he said he wanted to have some ribs on Sunday. We’ve smoked before, but he wanted to see the process again so he could do it on his own. He had Nationals tickets on Sunday and couldn’t be there to see my process first hand, so I figured I’d write up the steps so he can read it in case he wants to smoke solo. I hope its of help to you as well. I’m no expert, but that means anyone can do it. Here are two more resources to get you going (click here and here).
A lot of people have been finding my site by searching for House of Cards related material. I figured I’d give this post a HOC slant to see if I can’t generate some more traffic. Frank Underwood is from SC, but the ribs hes seen eating look to be covered in a sweeter tomato based sauce not typical of his region. FU would more likely prefer South Carolina mustard based sauce or maybe even North Carolina vinegar based sauce (see link below for more detail). I’ll give y’all my NC style sauce recipe. I don’t like mustard sauce, but my wife loves it. I did find a good SC mustard sauce at the store, which my wife found to be delicious. Mostly, I’ll explain how to make your own Freddy’s ribs (spoiler alert), now that DIY is your only way to get them. I found a great resource on the details about Freddy’s ribs here.
This post contains instructions for a basic smoke with no preparation. I went shopping right before smoking. Nothing was brined, marinated, or required any extra time or effort. The prep time for the smoker and ribs was about 15 minutes total. My cook time was 4.5 hours, but as you’ll see below, its a leisurely 4.5. My goal with this post is to show everyone the easiest way to learn to smoke ribs. Once you get the basics down, the sky is the limit.
To start, you need to buy a Weber Smokey Mountain smoker (not the smallest one). Its the best of the best, and if you don’t believe me, do a little research and check the amazon reviews. I have a fraternity brother that does competition smoking, and the WSM is what he and his competitors use.
First we went to Balduccis to get the baby backs. I love a place with a real butcher.
Using a smoker is much easier than you’d think. First you get some charcoal started in a chimney. I’m a proponent of the minion method, which basically just means you put the hot coals in the center of some cold charcoal, and let it burn from the inside out to keep the temperature constant throughout the smoke. When you add wood, I used apple and hickory, you don’t need to soak it. Just add 6-8 pieces for a 4-6 hour smoke. 4 hours is about all you need for ribs. I don’t even use a meat thermometer when I do ribs. Thats how easy it is, and how hard to mess up. I like to use some water in the water pan, but experts are pretty split on the issue. I get a good bark even with water, and it keeps things moist, so I don’t see any drawbacks (google for more info). Then you just put the middle and lid of the smoker back on, and you’re in business. The temp will creep up, and if you hold steady anywhere between 220 and 250 degrees, you’re golden. You adjust temp using the air vents. I start about about a quarter open, and slowly open them up until I’m in the smoke zone. You want to start by adjusting the top vent, and then if you have to, adjust the lower vents. Small adjustments are key.
Once the grill is set, you need to get the meat on. Plain mustard provides a great adhesive surface for a dry rub. The mustard really doesn’t change the flavor profile, so don’t worry about that. I do have a favorite rub, but I just found this one at the grocery store today. Stubbs is pretty easy to find, and it was pretty good. Once I got the dry rub on the ribs, I put them on a rack (optional), and started smoking them.
Next I started on a carolina style bbq sauce. I followed the previous link fairly loosely. I used about a cup and a half of apple cider vinegar, and another cup and a half of distilled white vinegar. Then I poured a little bbq sauce in. I also shook in some of the dry rub. Thats really all there was to it, and it turned out great. Once the flavors meld a little, it will be even better.
If anyone reading this thinks smoking ribs looks difficult, I’ve included the following to show you just had hard it really is… While smoking, I decided to compare Maker’s Mark to Virginia Gentleman. I poured a glass of each. I really had to concentrate to pick a favorite. They’re both very drinkable. The Maker’s is more complex, and has a slightly better nose. I really expected more of a difference between the two. I’ve never been a huge Maker’s fan. For mixing, I’m going with the gentleman. For drinking straight, see my other brown sauce posts for my favorites. I also had a Fuente Hemingway short story maduro. If you’re a cigar guy, you may know what I mean when I say sometimes a cigar is just on. Perfect age, humidity, etc. Everything was right with this one, and it was a wonderful smoke. Its one of my favorites.
Putting in a hard days work…
I enjoyed the spring day. But I did monitor the temp a few times. It was pretty easy with my remote display. I really can’t stress enough how easy it is to learn to use a smoker. Especially with ribs, you can get a good result your first time, and then really fine tune your abilities without much investment. Don’t be afraid to take it up as a new hobby.
My parents got home from the Nationals game, and my dad and I watched the Wizards in the playoffs on the DVR. Once the ribs had been on about 4 hours, I pulled them off, put them in tin foil, and dressed them. I put a store bought bbq sauce on one, butter, and dark brown sugar. On the other rack, I mopped on the homemade vinegar based sauce, added a little butter, and even a sprinkle of brown sugar. I topped it with another quick shake of the dry rub. Then I put them back on the smoker, and let it run a little hotter. After 30 minutes the sauces had caramelized, and the ribs looked amazing.
Carolina Style:
Store bought bbq:
Then we looked over the details about our upcoming trip to Cuba.
It was a great, relaxing day. I hope my instructions inspire you to give smoking a try. It really is easy. A lot of sites will overwhelm you with detail. Take it from me, you do not need to be detail oriented to make great ribs. I really think most people can turn out better ribs than most restaurants just by following my directions. Just check out some youtube videos, and my links, and you’ll be able to end up with some really amazing ribs.
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Myrtle Beach Golf Trip, Day 5
(This is a continuation of a 5 part post about my 2014 golf trip to Myrtle Beach. Please scroll down for the first post)
The last round on day 5 looked like it might get rained out. Some people left early. I decided to get started on the bourbon and cigars before teeing off, in case of a thunderstorm ending our round prematurely.
The rain held off, and we had a great round. I shot about as well as I did all week, and finished the round by sinking about a 15 foot putt off the fringe in front of the whole group.
On the last day of the trip, at the 18th green, a party starts as the first golfers finish, continue drinking, and start heckling the groups the come in after them. It builds and builds until the last golfers finish. Our group was the second to last to come in. By the time we arrived, the festivities were in full swing.
The partying continued in the parking lot outside the rooms. Some partied harder than others…
We went up to Gary and FJ’s room (where many a coke was exchanged) to figure out the final numbers, hand out winnings, and do some more drinking. As is apparent in some of the pictures, the party had still not ended.
Since it was the last night, we went to a steak house. I had a ribeye and a few more beers. We had a great meal, and it was a great way to end the trip. The next day we packed up, had one last IHOP breakfast, and headed home. I can’t thank Gary enough for planning such an awesome trip. I can’t thank my dad enough for including me, and my friends. It really is about the most fun group of guys you can imagine. It was a trip I’ll never forget, and I can’t wait ’til next year.
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Myrtle Beach Golf Trip, Day 4
On the forth day, we played The Wizard. As you can see below, Jay is celebrating the miracle that occurred that enabled him to be in playing shape that morning. Jason was not doing quite as well. The rest of us faired better than anticipated, given the previous evening.
We queued up, and watched the first drives over water.
Larry enjoyed a little impromptu driving range time into the water.
Jason pulled it together and teed off (above).
The rain wig was in effect, and some old crow in a shot glass my dad bought me helped with the weather.
The rain started slow, then really started coming down. It came and went, but didn’t ruin the round.
After the round, we all piled in our vehicles and headed down to the beach for dinner at Soho. After a great dinner, Gary added up our scores, and figured out the skins, longest drives, closest to the pins, and longest putts.
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Myrtle Beach Golf Trip, Day 3
On day 3 of the trip, I woke up, got a coffee, and watched players on Wizard approach and putt out on our screened porch. Then we headed to IHOP for breakfast, and then the Witch for our round. It was pretty hot out as we warmed up.
I never got a shot of the whole group at once, but this is about half of us. My dad, my second cousin Larry, Winn-Dixie, and his son C-Note teed off in the group before us. I rode with CW.
The Witch had a lot of wildlife on the course. Including a pretty fearless raccoon, and thankfully, some more disinterested gators.
It was my birthday, and we got paired up with some young guns. This was by far my worst round score-wise, but we had a great time. We played with one of these guys last year, and had a very similar experience. Hopefully, we’ll get to play together again next year.
Before the booze kicked in, we did have some pretty incredible shots. The young gun in the white shirt bent a ball around a huge tree to land on the green. It was incredible. He even called his shot.
It was hard enough to find errant balls without the oyster shells.
Larry told me that one year the course didn’t have its liquor license. He was feeling thirsty, and drove the cart across the (very busy) street, to buy some beers.
The course was beautiful, and despite worrying slightly about pace of play as some of my buddies started to feel the affects of intoxication, I had a great time. The group behind us was also from West Virginia, and the small talk with them prior to the round may have kept them from complaining. I hope we didn’t slow them down too much, but I imagine we may have. Hopefully they still enjoyed the round.
I happened to wear the exact same shirt as Taylor that round. He gets a little stressed about his golf game on occasion, but its nothing a few beers and some bourbon can’t fix. He might have gotten just a tad carried away, as he took a spill on the 18th green and made a bit of a knee divot. Larry got out his repair tool, and I have to say, its the first time I’ve seen a knee mark repaired on a green. Notice how Corey is still lining up a putt despite the chaos around him.
The young guns didn’t make it, but we had a pretty epic evening out. If you want details, you’ll have to ask me about it. Specifically, ask about how they climbed to the rafters, C-Note got tackled, Jason miraculously didn’t get us kicked out, the desperation line, and about CW’s G bucks. I had an awesome birthday. I couldn’t have had a better time. We finally dragged Jason out and got home around 2am.
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Myrtle Beach Golf Trip, Day 2
On Saturday, we got up early to get down to SC. We saw some familiar sights on the drive down. The trip is organized by Gary, my dad’s best friend growing up. Its about 40 guys, mostly from the Huntington area of WV. The majority of the guys about my dad’s age, but with a few guys just older and younger than me as well. We met up with everyone at the Man O War course. It was a beautiful day and an awesome course. I rode with Winn-Dixie, and we both played pretty well.
We started off with plenty of swing lube, but as you can see below, we had to make a run after the round.
That evening, we ate at Buffalo Wild Wings, and called it a night.
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Myrtle Beach Golf Trip, Day 1
My dad (and mom) grew up in a small town in West Virginia. A friend of his puts on a golf trip each year. Last year, my friend CW and I were lucky enough to get an invite. This year, we all went again, and invited a couple more friends. The base price of the trip is under $400 bucks, and includes 4 rounds of golf (carts included, coolers allowed), and 4 nights in Myrtle beach, as well as breakfast, and lunch, and an included steakhouse dinner. Its an unbelievable deal, but similar ones can be found via a quick google search. If you have a group of golf buddies, you’d be crazy not to check it out.
On Thursday, my dad and I drove down to our friends’ house in Fredericksburg to miss some traffic the following morning. We sat around and talked late into the evening, played a little piano, and told old stories. This was the view when I got up and had some coffee. Then we met up with my friend CW at the waffle house.
My friend C-Note’s Dad, Winn-Dixie, is a regular there, and his banter with the staff was as enjoyable as my biscuit and bacon. We headed down to Durham to play a round with one of Winn-Dixie’s former coworkers. He invited us to play at his country club, and even bought us lunch. Very generous. He lost an arm, but still plays golf. I can now say I’ve lost a round to a one armed man. We also played with a character who’s license plate is featured below. The weather and company was great, and the trip was just beginning.
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The most interesting man in the (golf) world
I was doing a little reading about the upcoming Masters, and found an article from Cigar Aficionado about a golfer that my dad said I would like. The article is about Miguel Angel Jimenez, and how he appreciates the finer things in life. The article is very interesting, and it seems that Jimenez has a laid back demeanor that has led to a successful and satisfying life. I think a lot of people would be better off if they were a little more like Jimenez. As you can see in my previous post, I’ll be on a golf trip during The Masters, but when I do get to watch or check updates, I’ll be pulling for Jimenez to make the cut.
The article of full of gems, but I’ve provided some of the best parts below. However, I’d definitely check the article out in its entirety.
Hitting on the terrace of the Doral Country Club in Miami, a demitasse of espresso in one hand, a Vegas Robaina cigar in the other, Miguel Angel Jimenez could have been another spectator at the Cadillac World Golf Championship event. With his graying red ponytail and goatee, his little pot belly, his air of ethereal calm accentuated by the faint haze of smoke, the 47-year-old Spaniard struck a pose that belied the fire within—a fire that burns for golf, a fire that burns for life.
In the era of flat bellies and distant personalities, in the era defined by Tiger Woods, fitness trailers and prize money fit for a king, Miguel Angel Jimenez stands as his own man. Sure, he’ll hit balls before he plays. But he might also have a glass of wine. Sure, he’ll putt and chip. But he will certainly have a cup or two of espresso. Sure, he’s determined to be the best player he can be (with 18 European Tour victories), but he will also make sure he takes the time to savor his life.
“He’s a man of his own and everyone appreciates him,” says Chandler. “He lives his life and plays the game the way he wants to. He never rushes anything, he savors everything. He just inhales life, and he exudes it. I’ve never known someone more comfortable in his own skin than Miguel.”
In a sense, Miguel has become the perfect representation of the European Tour, which still has a more idiosyncratic atmosphere than its big brother, the PGA Tour, in the United States. He’s a true individual, with a very distinct character but that fits in well in Europe. He thinks nothing about having a glass of wine before he goes out to play. He will surely have wine at dinner and maybe a nice brandy or whisky.
Being a very proud Andalucian, you just had to figure his taste in wines would center around the Spanish greats, especially those from Rioja. Among his collection are Cirsion, Ardanza, Torre Muga, Marques de Riscal and Roda. He also has a number of wines from Ribera del Duero—Pesquera, Protos, Vegas Sicilia, Emilio Moro, Abadia Retuerta and Mauro.
Of course he also enjoys a glass of fino sherry and a number of rums including Barcelo Imperial, Brugal and Zacapa. A Bushmills 1608 Irish whiskey or a Lagavulin 16-Year-Old single malt Scotch whisky will do him quite well. “The Lagavulin is nice and smoky, goes great with a cigar,” says Jimenez, relishing the words in the manner he would relish the whisky and the cigar.
Then there are the cigars. Ah, yes, the cigars. He usually smokes four or five a day. He will smoke cigars during practice rounds and pro-ams, but he does not, he is careful to say, smoke during an official round. But you can bet a box of Montecristos that he will have one just before he tees off and just after he finishes, often lighting up before he signs his scorecard. He is such a fan of the Cuban cigars that he attended the 2010 Festival del Habanos.
“I love Cuban cigars. They have that spiciness and sweetness that are missing from some others,” he says. “One day at the festival I smoked nine cigars and I feel nothing in my throat. That is good cigars, no?”
He likes his cigars big and juicy, generally a 52 to 56 ring. His favorite is the Siglo VI and he regularly enjoys the Cohiba Behike, but really any Cuban cigar will do. He figures he has about 400 cigars in his humidors, and he can’t quash a wry grin when saying that he gets them at a bargain rate in Spain.
“It is relaxing to enjoy a good wine, a cigar, good food, a whisky,” he says. “You have to take the time to enjoy them. You cannot enjoy them if you rush them, no? You cannot enjoy life if you rush.”
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Kitted out for Myrtle, Golf Trip Essentials
I’m headed down to Myrtle Beach for a golf trip with about 40 of my, and my Dad’s, friends. I’m trying to see what I need to pack and buy today, so I figured I’d throw up a post about the essentials.
1.) FootJoy shoes with BOA lacing system. I have an older pair, but it does have the BOA system. For comfort and convenience, they can’t be beat.
2.) Bonobos/Maide Golf pants. I have these in a couple colors. Great for all seasons. I wore these on the trip last year and highly recommend them.
3.) Thermal/Cooler bag. Mine is from Bass Pro, but I don’t think they made them anymore. If you have an old golf bag without cooler pockets, just throw one of these in a side pocket and you’ve got yourself a cooler bag. Even in my small carry bag, it holds about 8-10 beers depending on ice.
4.) Cigars. I like Arturo Fuente Hemingways. Easy to light, consistent, and delicious. 
5.) Chubbies Mint Julep short pants. I say short pants, because the inseam is 5.5″.
6.) Koozie. Because ‘Merica. Always keep a few in the bag.
7.) I’ll be on the course during The Masters, so lets hope the NBCSportsLiveExtra app gets good reception.
8.) Brooks Brothers Golf Polos. A staple. You won’t find me in crazy shirts or flat brim hats.
9.) Jet lighter with a punch, for when its windy, and you forget your cutter. I’m a rose gold fan, but generally, I just carry a ronson in case I lose it. Don’t forget to purge your lighter before you refill.
10.) Caddyshack Belt. This is the one item on this list I don’t own, but it looks pretty sweet.
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Paul Garmirian, McLean Cigars, Four Roses single barrel
I was in McLean for a doctor’s appointment today. I had a physical and a fitness assessment that both went well, so what better way to celebrate than with some brown sauce and a cigar (full disclosure, my celebration also included a cheese burger). Since I was in in the neighborhood, I stopped at McLean Cigars. I didn’t think to take a pic, but they have boxes and boxes of aged cigars, as well as younger PG sticks, and a selection of non-PG cigars. I picked a few to take home, and decided to smoke one from the 1995 gourmet especial line. There is an ABC store right across the way, so I grabbed a bottle of Four Roses single barrel.
The PG was quite good. Some of the younger PGs have too much white pepper flavor which I’m not a big fan of. This stick had flashes of white pepper, but it was not a dominant flavor. The gourmet, gourmet II, and artisan selection are all PG lines I’ve enjoyed in the past. I bought a box of the latter for my engagement party. I had a soiree once, and it put me down. It was way too strong for me. Even so, I did enjoy the flavor of the soiree, briefly. There is something special about the PG’s with some age on them. The gourmet especial was particularly enjoyable, and I’m looking forward to the other cigars I picked up today.
Four Roses is one of my favorite bourbons. In terms of price point and drinkability, its a lot like Elmer T Lee. Both are in the $30s, and I often find myself reaching for one or the other. When I was in Africa last year, there was often one of two options available if you wanted some brown (though some places were better stocked than others). There was generally a blended whiskey available, I believe Teachers, and Four Roses. Granted, this was not the single barrel version, but a very decent bottle none the less. I’m not sure why/how Four Roses has Kenya and Tanzania locked up, but similarly perplexingly, I’m not sure how Four Roses isn’t more popular here in the US. Its an excellent value, and close to the top of my extensive list of favorites.
While in my smoking room/office, I checked on the progress of this year’s tobacco crop. I start in a grow closet in the early spring to extend my season and start with strong seedlings. My seeds germinated, and are coming in nicely. I’ll have more posts about the progress of the tobacco, so stay tuned.
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